I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
