How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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