Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
