when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
