Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
