the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
