omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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