yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
