So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
