u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize