and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize