At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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