Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
