just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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