glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
