i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
