so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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