I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
