How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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