Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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