dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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