I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sober January is a disaster.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
