Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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