it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
