hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
