Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
