We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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