I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
