yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
