I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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