the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
