i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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