i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
