Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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