Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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