Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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