i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
