HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the liver wants what the liver wants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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