i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
