3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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