She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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