This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
