so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
