It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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