i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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