Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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