You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
