your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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