census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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