So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
