oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
