hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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