in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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