I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize